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How To Differentiate *Your* Dreams From Societal Expectations

Is there something you'd love to have or live into that you believe others have every right to, but you don't? 10/10 invite you to get curious about that. It's often in those spaces of 'forbidden' dreams that we get closer to understanding what we personally truly want. As long as we're not harming ourselves or others, who has a right a to tell us that our dreams are too big or too out there? No one. *And* We tend to forget that.


When you look at your life now, how much of it surprises you in wonderful ways and how much of it surprises in dreadful ones? Our dreams require radical compassion and honesty. Whatever the case may be, you're here. You're showing up to wonder what's possible. Here, I invite you to ask three vital questions:


1. Is this dream/opinion/thought/feeling/assumption mine or is it someone else's?

2. How much of this 'ideal' is mine and how much of this is society's expectation of somebody like me?

3. What might become available to me if I take courageous, imperfect action* towards *my* dreams daily? *Courageous imperfect action aka CIA, as Mastin Kipp calls it.


When we feel our way into understanding what we think is possible for us, it can be overwhelming to wonder why certain ways of being, doing, loving, and moving through the world seem more available to us than others. There's a scary opportunity to explore what's yours, what's society's, and what's assumed to be possible for a person like you. As with anything, the trick is to ease your way into this exploration.


By easing your way into asking these questions and actually listening to *your* own answers, it will be more sustainable to continue this exploration *your* way. The idea is to tap into growth promoting challenge without overwhelming your nervous system. By going gently *and* bravely, you're more likely to get to where you want to go. For example, that might look like journaling on these questions for a few minutes a day over the next couple of weeks. It might sound like asking questions to people who have done what you want to do and listening for the ways in which you might be further along than you think. It might feel like recognizing the knot in your chest when what you want feels slightly more or less available to you. It will definitely require accessing support. Ultimately, we're talking about a practice that makes sustainable change possible.


Yes, you're reading these words typed up by someone whose life looks nothing like the life she thought she had any right to. In my case, *my* truest and most beautiful life consistently requires unlearning internalized homophobia, sexism, machismo, fat phobia, diet culture, xenophobia, racism, ableism, and perfectionism, to name a few. It requires frank conversations with people I trust, love, and admire. It requires making hard choices and facing harder truths. It requires messing up *and* cleaning up. It requires investing in ongoing, competent support. It requires that I cultivate joy, rest, creativity, and trust as pillars of healing in a society that doesn't always value these.


*And* it also offers many previously unimaginable dreams. As it turns out, *my* truest and most beautiful life looks like typing up this article next to a visual timer on a multi-coloured keyboard from the Creative Corner that's my home office. It feels like living into queerness and accepting infertility. It mothers a cat, ideas, and creations. It sounds like dancing around in my kitchen to the same song on repeat. It reads like Chapter 9 of The Artist's Way. It builds like a home. It embraces like community. It hugs like visits with my best friends as we create new stories and memories together. It structures like systems that help me leverage neurodivergence for innovation. It rests like meeting my body where it's at. It works like running my own company and betting on my calling: coaching.


In your case, what might *your* truest and most beautiful life feel like, sound like, and look like? There's great wonder on the other side of answering this question *your* way.


For coaching support on figuring it out, book a Discovery Call with me today. So excited to hold space for you and *your* wildest dreams!

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