How To Start NEW Instead Of Starting Over
Why is it important to think of and say "starting new" instead of "starting over" or "rebuilding"? Because sometimes 'rebuilding' is not an option or it's not even the option that would serve us or our community. Sometimes, 'starting over' gives the impression that we need to go back to the beginning or the first step, which is not always a desirable or available option. I invite you to consider that 'starting new' requires a whole new path.
The dreadful truth is that dreams, plans, hopes, memories, places, and relationships can burn down in all matter of ways. And. Toxic positivity will not save us from that. If anything, it might make us feel alone, inadequate, and like we're somehow missing a puzzle piece that everybody else seems to have. So, 'starting new' is 100% about also honouring the grief that comes with starting new. Why? Because it does often come after a metaphorical and sometimes literal death.
And. 'Starting new' is about finding creative ways to make peace with both the dreadful and the wonderful along the path to create something beautiful. The wonderful truth is that new life, dreams, plans, relationships, memories, and places can then have more space to fill our lives. That space can then also be filled with enough of our attention and enough of our energy to create something powerful. This makes me think of "Leap and the net will appear", which is one of the quotations that Julia Cameron shares in Week 3 of The Artist's Way. I gift it to you in the hopes that it serves you as much as it continues to serve me.
I also gift you 3 key ideas and 3 key questions on How To Start New *Your* Way in 3 key life areas:
Self-discovery & Community-building:
1. Decide which patterns you're leaving behind and which patterns you want to lean into. For example, moving away from idolizing people and moving towards horizontal relationships. How might a shift in power dynamics be more sustainable?
2. Look to your community for examples of generosity, abundance, kindness, and check in with your own history of resilience. For example, notice how your loved ones show up for you and each other. How might you show up with reciprocity towards them?
3. Choose something you want to start new with and choose a simple commitment that can help you make gradual changes towards it this week. For example, in my case, you're reading this week's blog post because I promised myself and the spirit of my business that I would show up. How might showing up for promises towards yourself help you follow through with promises to others?
Personal & Professional Leadership:
1. Take the opportunity to practice self-compassion as a form of personal leadership. Different parts of ourselves catch up to major changes in our lives at different rates. How might you meet yourself with loving kindness when faced with ongoing realizations about how much is changing or has changed?
2. Think of ways that you can add more joy and pleasure in your personal and professional lives. Starting new is not only about facing the dreadful. It is also about adding more of the wonderful. For example, is there a way of helping your body feel 10% more comfortable today?
3. Decide what you want your actions to say about you and act accordingly. For example, what do you want someone to feel after interacting with you? As Maya Angelou shared: "people may not remember what you said, but they will remember how you made them feel."
Health & Self-advocacy:
1. Create spaces for play and rest since these are vital pillars that ensure long-term sustainability for whatever changes you're creating. What is something categorically silly that you can do today?
2. Look for opportunities for connection and safe relationships. What does your body feel like when you feel seen, heard, and understood by your people? If you don't have your people yet, what might be one activity or place worth checking out in order to find them?
3. Continue to create your Nervous System toolkit and have it on hand as you navigate the waves of change.
For coaching support on starting new and navigating major life transitions, book a Discovery Call with me today!